10% Happier with Dan Harris Folgen

One of our primary missions on this show is to rescue vital ideas that have lapsed into cliches. There are so many important concepts out there that many of us might be tempted to dismiss because they are encrusted with cultural baggage or have been reduced to potentially annoying or sappy slogans. So, for example, we've talked a lot on this podcast about things like: hope, gratitude, and "listening to your body." All of which can sound like the type of empty bromide that your spin instructor yells at you while encouraging you to pedal faster. But, in fact, these are all incredibly important operating principles for a healthy life. And, not for nothing, they are all backed up by hard science. So today we're going to tackle what may be the oldest and gooieset cliche of them all: love. The word has been ruined, in many ways, by Hollywood and pop songs. For many of us, the mere mention of the word conjures images of Tom Cruise, with tears in his eyes, while the string music swells, declaring, "You complete me."  But in my view, and in the view of my guest today, love needs to be usefully defined down. In other words, we need to knock love off its plinth, and apply it to a much wider range of human interactions. We also need to think of love not as something magical that requires luck or money or looks, but instead as a trainable skill -- one with profound implications for our health.  Barbara Fredrickson is the Kenan Distinguished Professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She has written two books: one is called Positivity, the other is called Love 2.0. In this interview, we talk about how she defines love, based on her research; how meditation can help build this skill; how taking a few extra minutes to chat with people, even if you feel busy, can have psychological, physiological, and even professional benefits; and how to manage social anxiety as we emerge from our Covid cocoons.  This episode is actually part one of a two-part series running this week on social connection. Coming up on Wednesday, we'll hear from Marissa King, a professor at Yale who studies how to create social networks, even when it feels uncomfortable. And by social network, I don't mean something like Facebook. I mean actual networks of actual human beings that you see in person. She's got a lot of practical and actionable advice about how to do that, even within the context of Covid. So be sure to listen in on Wednesday. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we'll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I'm sure we're all too familiar with. In this series, you'll become intimately familiar with the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up, and what you may be doing to feed it.  And this is where you come in. We'd love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you're struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail with your name and phone number. If you're outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th.  And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/barbara-fredrickson-341

Today we're talking to a renowned psychologist who has come up with five strategies for cultivating hope. Dr. Jacqueline Mattis is a clinical psychologist from Rutgers University, where she is also a Dean of Faculty. As you will hear, she did not start her career wanting to study hope. She started out studying spirituality and religiosity, specifically doing lots of field work and interviews in African American and AfriCaribbean urban communities. She wanted to know why people living under high-stress conditions so often choose to be good and compassionate. That research eventually led her to hope.  This the final interview in our two-week series on hope. The three previous guests approached the topic from a Buddhist perspective. Today, Dr. Mattis will talk about hope from a scientific perspective. How does hope work? And what are the benefits? What she does have in common with our previous guests is that she sees hope as a skill, not as a complacent state of unfounded optimism.  If, after this interview, you find yourself wanting to put hope to work in your own life, and you've got the Ten Percent Happier app, then make sure to check out our new talks and meditations from some of our finest teachers about how to cultivate hope as a skill. Click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/HopeIsASkill, or tap on the "Singles" and "Talks" tabs in the app to check them out. And if you don't have the app, you can try it for free today. Just download the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps, or click here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacqueline-mattis-340

Buddhism can get a bad rap as being hopelessly pessimistic -- in no small measure because one of the Buddha's first principal pronouncements was, "Life is suffering." But if you listen to the rest of his spiel, you will hear that the Buddha acknowledges that life can be hard, but then goes on to say that we can make it better. He then spells out a bunch of practical techniques for doing so, which makes Buddhism essentially hopeful. We're now in week two of our two-week series on hope, where we've been positing that hope isn't just some vague, rosy state of mind -- it is, in fact, a skill.  Today's guest is Oren Jay Sofer, a Buddhist teacher who has been meditating for nearly a quarter century. He holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University and is the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. Oren's view of hope starts with the Buddhist notion of impermanence. Everything is changing all the time. That doesn't necessarily mean things are always guaranteed to get better. That brand of hope, Oren says, can lead to a sort of grasping that pulls us out of the present and ultimately feeds our suffering. Instead, Oren makes the counter-intuitive argument that in order to hope effectively, we have to detach from results and outcomes. Oren is also lending his expertise to our Hope is a Skill series in the Ten Percent Happier app. If you're already a subscriber, make sure to check out our new meditations to hone your hope skills — including some from Oren. You can find them in the "Hope is a Skill" topic in the Singles tab, or by clicking here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/HopeIsASkill.  And if you're not yet a subscriber and want to check out Oren's new meditations in our app, now is a great time to give it a go. You can download the Ten Percent Happier app here: https://www.tenpercent.com/ (or wherever you get your apps). Once you subscribe, you'll have access to all the great resources in the Hope is a Skill series, as well as tons of content – meditations, talks, full-on courses – all designed to help you wherever you are on your meditation journey. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/oren-jay-sofer-339